It all started in March 2009. There was a desperate phone call to my husband’s church office asking to speak to a youth pastor. Over 2 hours later, he finished a conversation with a 14-yo girl who was seeking help. It’s a long story on how she got a hold of him in the first place. But that night and many nights for the next week or so, we spoke with her for hours at a time. Through much persuasion, we convinced her to tell her parents that she needed help. She was then hospitalized for a while and went through a great deal to recover physically.
We simply know her as Stephanie Nicole. She had a very tragic event happen to her which robbed her of her joy from that day forward. There have been times in the past 2-1/2 years that we haven’t spoke much, but then there’s other times that we speak 2-3x/week. We’ve gotten to know her and she’s gotten to know us. We’ve sent tons of pictures to her but have never received one from her. Yet, because of our deep connection through this tragedy in her life, we love her like she’s our daughter.
On Wednesday of this week, this now 16-yo took a very brave step. She shared her story with our youth group and the struggles that she’s still facing today. She deals with guilt, shame, and feeling that she’s not worthy of salvation or anything good in her life. Our students were able to ask her personal questions and she responded openly and honestly. This, in our minds, was a huge step in her recovery process. The response from our students was overwhelming. I believe they are now burdened to pray for Stephanie Nicole.
After the heaviness of the conversation, we had her call us back after we got home. She was remarkably doing well…at least for that night. We talked about how brave she was and how proud we were of her and additional comments some girls wanted us to share with her. After that, we began to laugh about silly stuff. We try to do that in our conversations just to lighten the mood. Last night was no different…except I don’t think any of us have ever laughed harder together. I loved hearing her laugh. It was good. God is good.
Although Stephanie feels like she doesn’t deserve heaven or the sacrifice that Christ gave for her, I believe this night was a night she will never forget. One of our students asked her if she ever thought about how God could possibly work through her tragedy to help others. Even though we had mentioned this to her before, she said she never thought of it until now. Troy encouraged her to ponder that idea of helping someone else. Our prayer is for Stephanie to ultimately recognize her need for Jesus in her life. Although the tragic event itself is long over with, her joy is still gone. Desperate? Indeed. She desperately needs a Savior who understands her pain and can help her face tomorrow without the need to harm herself.
When I think about it, I can get very angry that such tragedies happen in this world. But, I can’t help but be grateful for God bringing Stephanie Nicole into our lives. She told me this week in an email that when she sees our pictures, she gets a little sad because she wishes she could give us a hug and that she “thinks…maybe one day”. That simple statement literally made me smile. She may never know how God has used her to influence us. In case you ever read this Stephanie, thank you for letting us in your life…even just a little. We love you.
#praying4StephanieNicole
